"The Final Countdown"

(Europe) 

Your intrepid explorer en route, outside the present Mrs Ives' emporium in fair Knaresborough http://www.mungodeli.co.uk/,  to Pateley Bridge (Yorkshire Dales) as part of a 'shake down' to see if the bike copes and the kits fits and works on a camping trip. To my horror all the clobber comes to around 20 kilograms and the hill between Bedlam and Burnt Yates will always be part of my psychotherapy session for years to come! Got to Pateley Bridge when it started to rain. If that wasn't diffiicult enough then a bloke appeared to casually chat, as I furiously wrestled with tent and panniers amongst the rain drops, to tell me that he had cycled from Lincolnshire on a 'sit up and beg' with only 8 gears and was on his way to The Lake District. He volunteered, when I asked him how long it took to ride here, that he didn't carry a watch because that was for work and not a holiday? I did quietly wonder how he worked out when to take his medication. 

Size matters apparently....



Anyway rain aside the camping and bike worked well and I came back to meet with the weighing scales in order to try and lose a kilogram or two.

This is the abode (on your left) where one friend's wife did comment that, in this case, size does matter. Maybe not big enough but heavy enough for me!


Well broadly that is that and after 1,500 miles of training and trying everything out then I am as ready as I ever will be and on July 1st then I cycle for that ferry. In the interim it is being an Oxfam Steward at Glastonbury where I will be by myself with 177,000 people....oh yes and the eldest...Katrina.

"That's Not My Name"



Los Boliches


(The Ting Tings)

Ah.. the joy of a pint of Stella or glass of Chardonnay at 7.30 am in the Departure Lounge at Leeds Bradford Airport. The Hen and Stag Parties were starting as they meant to go on and were getting into the spirit of things. The parties had each adopted a uniform. The ladies were quaffing their chilled white wine wearing fetching pork pie hats confirming that it was “Jacqui’s Hen Party” and they were called by their Christian names. The boys had found themselves with names that needed a few pints in order to be found funny by the wearer. One group had called each other by the names of mass murderers…..Fred West or Peter Sutcliffe and whilst I might struggle with the pleasure of wandering around Torremolinas with such a sobriquet then another group had less imagination and imagine the joy when “Pissy Chrissy” was handed his T Shirt! Anyway….I digress. So before Le Grand Depart I am grabbing some sun with the first wife on the Costa Del Sol at some friends' apartment.  Lots of sun with too much drink and copious food! Not ideal preparation for developing the torso of a racing snake. Mainly chilled but saw a little exercise in Malaga with the fabulous http://www.malagabiketours.eu/. Lasting image, of the holiday however, was the sixty something Britsh bloke in patterned frock, trilby, maroon nail varnish and earrings going through Security at Malaga Airport. First I felt embarrassed to be British and then I simply had to admire his courage at doing this in front of so many people and then absolute joy as the two Spanish Guards after the x-ray body scan realised that they would have to frisk him!

Lastly 'shake down' run with bike and clobber this week up at Pateley Bridge. Pray for rain.

 

"With A Little Help From My Friends"

(The Beatles)

Janette and Steve have contemplated my challenge of navigating the Continent, and with no expense spared, bought a vital piece of cycling equipment for my handle bars. Clearly my anxiety now is that the Belgium Customs may look at this "corne extraordinaire" and deem it to be a weapon of mass destruction given its sound.



Author with Tesco's Finest



So alas whether with the risk of international infamy I risk the officials at Zeebrugge with this attached is still in the balance (the smart money says no!).

Other preparations include 75 mile forays into the Yorkshire Wolds and more sleeping in the tent....I have progressed out of the garden and away from the breeding ducks who swoop and fight 24/7 during their courtship. Purchases are at an end as the nice man at Cycling Heaven in York said my rims would carry the 14 stones put on the back wheel (I did point out that also included my body weight) and I am breaking in a new Samsung netbook so that I can keep the blog going, Skype the family, watch films and lurk outside French McDonalds (Pulp Fiction anyone and John Travolta's exposition on a Quarter Ponder with cheese http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLtwFugudZE ) enjoying their free Wi-Fi connection trying to find the Test Scorecard! Still ruminating over the finer details of the route. The Spanish element is not to be under estimated for heat and distance.